I grew up always being the smallest out of everyone. I was constantly teased, mocked and bullied because I was so small and skinny. I felt that I wasn’t worthy and became obsessed with becoming strong. I started with only doing push-ups and pull-ups whenever I got the chance.

That was issue one, however behind closed doors I was being molested by my stepbrother. This went on for a few years and I felt dirty and even more unworthy. I become very angry and pitied myself. In addition my stepmother abuse me in the punishment she dealt out to me, I was thrown into walls and hit through the face, not to mention verbal abuse.

This rejection and hurt led me to pornography. I hated how it made me feel as all I wanted was to be loved.

After school, I started studying to become a pastor but the feelings of being unworthy and a fraud overwhelmed me so I left theology.

I was about 28 years old I met my now wife and mother of my daughter at church. One day I sat her down and opened up about my past although it took time to tell her of my pornography addiction. It was only after this was laid bare was I finally released from the grip of this sin.

With my sin dealt with I was only then able to take the next step in my healing, to forgive my stepbrother and stepmother, which I did.

Matthew 6:33

‘But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.’